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by Lynda on December 23, 2010 · 1 comment

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Anxiety is the most common human problem. It appears as invasive negative thoughts, yagara (herbal viagra) discount, Buy yagara (herbal viagra) lowest price, physical symptoms (stomache ache, headache, sale yagara (herbal viagra), Yagara (herbal viagra) price, muscle tension), and intense emotions (fear). It can range from slight worry to a debilitating panic disorder, cheap yagara (herbal viagra) pharmacy, Buy yagara (herbal viagra) once daily, and it influences our behaviours by encouraging us to avoid places, things, yagara (herbal viagra) online stores, Buy no rx yagara (herbal viagra), people, conversations or emotions. It keeps us from living our best life, buy cheap yagara (herbal viagra) internet. Yagara (herbal viagra) australia,

Anxiety is fear that is disproportionate to the circumstance. Anxiety tries to convince us that terrible things are likely to happen, and that when these terrible things happen we won't be able to cope or recover. Both these things are lies...usually completely untrue...and we know it, order no rx yagara (herbal viagra), Buy generic yagara (herbal viagra), but it's difficult to resist the tempting whispers of anxiety.

Some people are more prone to anxiety than others. I find that some very intelligent folks have brains that want to latch onto things quickly, and worry or anxious thoughts are right there handy for the grabbing. Our brains like to be active. Life doesn't like a vacuum, drug yagara (herbal viagra), Order discount yagara (herbal viagra), and in the absence of positive thoughts, negative ones will gladly fill that gap.

I have anxiety and you probably do too. Over the years I have found lots of things that can effectively treat this issue. I share them with you.

How you feel is determined by what you think...what you say to yourself. You can develop the very vital skills of refutation. Imagine you are a lawyer in a courtroom whose job it is to refute or disprove the careless claims of anxiety. What is the evidence that supports the fact that the bad thing is not likely to happen, yagara (herbal viagra) prescription, Generic yagara (herbal viagra) online, or that, if it does, yagara (herbal viagra) sales, Yagara (herbal viagra) from india, you do have the skills to be able to cope with it?

Breathe slow and deep. Your slow breathing can trick your mind into thinking your body is relaxed. Acting as if you are relaxed can help. It also helps to feel in control of your breathing. Square breathing is breathing in for a count of 4, hold for 4, buy yagara (herbal viagra), Buy yagara (herbal viagra) pills, out for 4, hold for 4. Focus on the breath instead of the anxiety.

Accept the anxiety, find discount yagara (herbal viagra), Buy yagara (herbal viagra) from canada, notice it, and ride it like a wave. If you clench your jaw and fight the feeling, yagara (herbal viagra) for order, Cheapest generic yagara (herbal viagra) online, it can build. It's not a war. It's only a thought or a feeling...it's a normal anxious thought that is not necessary or useful to you right now. It will be over soon, it won't kill you...embrace the temporary feeling and then let it go.

Exercise. Exercise. Exercise. SO important for anyone with anxiety or depression. Push your body. Release toxins. It's just as effective as an antidepressant!

Avoid or reduce your alcohol intake. It treats the moment, canada yagara (herbal viagra), Buy yagara (herbal viagra) from india, but not the problem.

Avoid crap food and sugar. lol... I eat at McDonalds about once a year but it happened to be last night! Also just ate a chocolate and must pledge to not store them in my handy desk drawer...

Learn to acknowledge and tolerate emotions. Often the fear is about what we might feel in a certain situation. Many of my blogs are about this idea...learn to feel stuff as it happens and know that it's okay...you will survive it.

Remind yourself about past positive outcomes.

Ask yourself what's the worst that could happen? And what would I do then? And if I did that, yagara (herbal viagra) bangkok, Order yagara (herbal viagra) cheap online, what's the worst thing that could happen? And what would I do then? And if I did that...etc.

5-4-3-2-1 This is a grounding technique. Say outloud 5 things you see, 5 things you hear, yagara (herbal viagra) online sales, Find no rx yagara (herbal viagra), 5 things you feel on your body. Then say outloud 4 things you see, 4 things you hear, cheap yagara (herbal viagra) tablets, No rx yagara (herbal viagra), etc...all the way down to 1. By that time you will be more grounded in the present, rather than the past or future.

See a qualified therapist. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a proven effective treatment. A therapist can help you understand the specific type of depression or anxiety you have and help you use these ideas and more to manage it.

Ask me a question! I will answer it in private or on the blog if you are okay with that.

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by Lynda on December 20, 2010 · 1 comment

: the power of rage

Buy black cialis without prescription, Anger can be a very useful emotion. It can help us identify an unfair situation or problem, and give us the energy to deal with it. Anger is not always a problem. In fact, it is sometimes the most appropriate thing to feel and express, as long as it is expressed respectfully.

Sometimes, order black cialis on internet, Buy black cialis no prescription required, however, we develop a habit, pharmacy black cialis, Black cialis buy drug, or pattern, that involves reacting quickly to things around us with anger. We no longer take the time to think or listen...we react. We explode quickly into a rage. This can be seen as an addiction to anger.

Anger develops into a habit because it temporarily gives us something that we want...it lets off steam, buy cheapest black cialis, Black cialis buy online, it keeps people at a distance, or it makes people temporarily stop whatever they doing that triggered our emotions.

Anger is a secondary emotion. It is almost always covering up some other, cheap black cialis in canada, Cheapest black cialis online, much more vulnerable emotion. An emotion we don't want to feel, like powerlessness, black cialis us, Black cialis information, worthlessness or feeling unimportant. See my kryptonite blog. In this case, anger is not a useful thing, generic black cialis, Buy black cialis us, because it is out of proportion to the problem, or because it targets the wrong problem...the real problem is inside us.

An example.., black cialis online sale. Buying black cialis, We react with anger at the sight of our child's backpack not hung up again. We are actually overheating with the emotion of powerlessness because we can't make them remember, or unimportance because they don't seem to place importance on what we say. The problem is not our kid's backpack on the floor. That is a situation, black cialis medication, Black cialis purchase, not a problem. Our emotional overheating and not knowing what to do about it is the problem, and rage is simply a convenient but destructive way to solve the problem, cheap black cialis in uk, Where to buy black cialis, because it gets the child to obey temporarily.

But the anger addiction creates other problems. It forces people to 'walk on eggshells' around us. It creates equally unpleasant reactions in others, or it sends them to a place of hurt or resentment. It messes up our lives, black cialis, Black cialis tablets, like any addiction.

The best way to tackle an addiction to anger is to use the skills of a therapist to help you identify what your own process is and change it. If you want to tackle it on your own, start by asking yourself these questions...

What does my anger help me accomplish? How does it make my life easier? Does it keep people quiet/away from me/obeying what I say? Does it stop people from challenging or questioning me?

What's the worst thing that would happen if I didn't get angry in that situation? What was I trying to make happen or prevent? What would make it so terrible if someone irritated or questioned or disagreed with me? Keep 'boiling this down' by asking yourself..."And what would be the worst thing about that? And what would be the worts thing about that?..."

What feelings does anger help me avoid? What's so scary about that feeling?

How is anger affecting the people I care about?

That's a start for you. Empathy for the folks around you will be helpful. Get some help. :)

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Buy cialis jelly without prescription, One of the things I do is attachment based therapy with parent and child. Some of the lessons I learned in my training in attachment based therapy can help all of us parents (and grand parents!) to learn to be attuned to a child and use our simple interactions to build their self-esteem.

Remember that when you have a child who is acting out and there is a focus on the negative in the home, you have the power to change the balance by increasing their esteem and the number of positive interactions you have with them. See previous blog on this.

I will describe a very simple and effective way to interact with your child during their play that will raise their self-esteem. It's called Wait, Watch and Wonder... Buy cialis jelly from us, First, put some interesting toys in front of your child. Or let them pick their favorite toys. Or approach them when they are already playing, cialis jelly generic. Cialis jelly in malaysia, Hopefully not something battery operated (and not television)! Get down on the child's level, in a position from which you can see their face.

2. WAIT for them to play. Be quiet for a moment, cialis jelly professional. Cialis jelly no rx required, Mostly, you are in charge of how your family is run and what the schedule is, find discount cialis jelly online, Cialis jelly non prescription, but when you are in WWW mode, when your child is engaged in play, compare cialis jelly prices, Buy cialis jelly on internet, they are in charge! Resist the urge to take over! Wait to see what they do.

3. WATCH their face. Their face is the window to their soul, and their needs, cialis jelly online pharmacy, Cialis jelly pharmacy, and your connection to them. They will often look at your face, and when they do you should be looking at them. Don't watch the toys...don't watch the clock...don't watch your crackberry/iphone. Give your child the gift of connection and watch their face, buying cialis jelly online. Buy cialis jelly in canada, 4. WONDER, out loud, cialis jelly no online prescription, Order cialis jelly, about what they're thinking or feeling. Say things that reflect your attunement to their play and their emotions. This is not the time to test about colours or animal noises. It's okay to do that sometimes, but that's not what WWW is about and that doesn't build their self-esteem. Your voice should indicate that you have nothing else on your mind at the moment other than how thrilled you are to be with this child in this moment, best price for cialis jelly, Low price cialis jelly, noticing them and wondering about them. Here's a sampling of appropriate things to say (adjust this for the child's age. I am imagining a child who doesn't yet talk)... "Wow...you have a puppet! You have a cow puppet! Is it soft? It's a soft cow. I can see by your smile that you like that soft cow. I wonder what you like about that cow...maybe the eyes. It has big eyes...like you. I love your beautiful eyes. Oh...you're putting it on your hand now. Do you feel your hand inside the cow? Oh! Your hand is making the cow move, buy cialis jelly without prescription. I wonder what that cow's going to say!"...

Let's imagine a slightly older child and the sorts of things you might say.., cialis jelly cheap price. Find cialis jelly on internet, "You've got all your animals here. Let's see which ones Jennifer will choose today... the pig! How's that pig feeling today? (child answers 'sad') Oh really...tell me about the pig and what has made him sad." ... later on.., discount cialis jelly without prescription. Cialis jelly online review, "I see that the pig and the horse are fighting again. Are they fighting, or playing? (child says fighting) And you are frowning. Do you feel sad when the pig and the horse fight?".., find cialis jelly no prescription required. Order cialis jelly no prescription, For an older child, who is beyond the "playing years", order cialis jelly online, Discount cialis jelly online, use the concept to connect with them as they describe their day or their needs. Even with a teenager, these simple steps can be useful in positioning us as our kids self-esteem builders. (if you have a teenager, cheap cialis jelly in usa, Cialis jelly sale, really your main goal is to get that kid to adulthood feeling good about themselves..you know that, right?)

I meet a lot of parents who bring their children to me in hopes that they will reveal to me what is bothering them. Yet a parent who is attuned to their child has tremendously more power than I do to tap into that child's needs, cost of cialis jelly, Cialis jelly cheap price, and they can use WWW to stay connected. It is a very powerful tool and I urge you to try it and to notice what difference it makes in your family.

It's not easy though. It's hard work! Our instincts are to be overactive guide a child's play, or to watch without interest or attention (we're bored or thinking about our own stuff). Go back to this blog and re-read the instructions after doing it a few times (I recommend 10 minutes of WWW a day) to make sure you're still on track, buy cheapest cialis jelly. Cialis jelly purchase, I'll leave you with a delicious and short clip of a mom who is in a very attuned position with her adorable child who is telling her that he doesn't always like her. It's not quite WWW, but this is so sweet, cialis jelly price. Cialis jelly discount. Buy cialis jelly online. Cheapest cialis jelly price. Cialis jelly pharmacy. Order cialis jelly no prescription required. Approved cialis jelly pharmacy. Cialis jelly approved. Buying generic cialis jelly.

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Much has been written about the law of attraction. The basic premise Buy levitra without prescription, is that what you put out will come back to you abundantly. If you put out despair and negativity, this is what you will reap, and if you put out strong beliefs about what will happen (and act as if they will), then they are more likely to happen. You can create your own reality...you can use your mind to bring desirable things into your life, like money, jobs, performance in sports, health...anything becomes more possible.

It's research based. Studies have long shown that if you believe something will happen, levitra drug, Buy levitra on internet, it is more likely to happen. They also call this the self-fulfilling prophesy. And it's common sense as well, right, order levitra from us. Approved levitra pharmacy, If you believe you will get a certain job, then you're more likely to do the things that will contribute to that...like following up a resume with a phone call, order levitra, Levitra online stores, or demonstrating confidence during an interview. If you believe you are good-looking, you are more likely to display confidence and therefore attract other people towards you. So this process can be seen as thought influences body...which influences other people and all the molecules around you...which makes the thought reality.

By the way this also happens for negative things...if we believe on a deep level that we deserve rejection or punishment...we are more likely to behave towards the world in ways that will guarantee that we will be punished and rejected.

For some people, price of levitra, Buy cheap levitra internet, though, changing thoughts is hard. I meet people who know what they're supposed to think, levitra approved, Levitra for sale, but have trouble changing their stuck way of thinking. So we can approach it from a behavioural perspective...How we act...how we make our bodies behave... can influence how we think and feel. Behaviour influences thought, levitra canada, Cheap levitra pill, which influences emotion and reality.

For example, a group of people in a research project were asked to read a simple passage. Some were instructed to smile while reading it, generic levitra, Levitra overnight delivery, some to frown, and some given no instruction. It turned out that the expression which people were told to hold on their faces significantly influenced how they felt about the passage they read. Smiling makes you happier. Frowning makes you more sad. Acting 'as if' something is true, levitra no prescription, Buy levitra us, makes it more likely to be true.

So, levitra online sale, Levitra no rx required, let's take this concept and look at how it might help you reach your relationship goals...

Building Trust... If you want to increase the amount of trust you have in someone...try acting 'as if' you trust them. If you force yourself to stop questioning or controlling, levitra cheap drug, Order levitra without prescription, you will be experiencing yourself on a cellular level as more trusting, and you will think more trusting thoughts, purchase levitra overnight delivery, Buy levitra low price, and you will eventually trust more and feel more trusting.

Confidence and Assertiveness...Whether in a family or at work, assertiveness skills are important. You may feel you have low confidence or esteem. But if you say the things that demonstrate confidence, cheap levitra from canada, Buy levitra pills, even if you don't fully mean them initially, you will experience yourself as more confident on that cellular level, cheap levitra in canada, Buy levitra internet, and you will grow in confidence. Learn and rehearse simple sentences that don't hurt anyone but assert your needs. "Don't yell at me"..."I deserve the truth"..."No, I can't do that." Acting as if you deserve respect, low cost levitra, Buy discount levitra, or are important, makes people treat you that way, buy levitra from us, Generic levitra online, and makes you feel more important and think that you are important.

Acts of Kindness...Acting More Loving! I hear a lot of people fixating on what they want their partner to do differently. This is important...for you to voice your needs...but where your power lies...and where your energy is better spent...is on acting in loving ways towards someone you profess to care about. If you want to feel more loving towards someone, act as if you love them...do something nice for them! Act as if you care about them and their needs. It will come back to you tenfold. You will feel differently about them, generic levitra cheap, Levitra cheapest price, and have more positive thoughts about them. This blog has more information about this idea.

Sex...Okay I may catch flack for this one. This may sound like an anti-feminist stance, but it's what I believe. Here goes...

I would never want someone to betray their personal boundaries and be intimate with someone if it hurt them spiritually, order levitra no rx, Buy levitra canada, physically or emotionally. But honestly, sometimes we get lazy about connecting sexually with someone we care about because we're tired or "just don't feel like it". "Once it's happening, levitra cheap, Buy levitra without prescription, it's good, but it's so hard to work up the energy." Ouch! This results in feelings of rejection and hurt for the partner with the stronger drive. Women, levitra medication, Discount levitra without prescription, you are more guilty of this sexual laziness than men, but sometimes it's men too. We forget that in a marriage we have to act as if we care about someone. We have to feed the marriage, buying levitra online, Order levitra from canada, and touch is a hugely important way that humans stay connected and attached. Yeah, sure, your partner is sometimes a prick and that makes you not want to connect, but refusing to be sexual robs you both of the healing potential of touch. (not that I'm saying sex is a conflict resolution tool, but make-up sex can be good) Plus, if your partner feels more wanted and cared about, the prick-like behaviours are likely to be fewer. So push yourself past your comfort zone...and it will likely make you feel more loving, more loved, more connected. Acting as if you want to be with someone makes you want them more and also feel more wanted.

There are many more examples of how acting 'as if' can help your relationship...use your imagination.

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by Lynda on November 25, 2010 · 0 comments

Buy levitra jelly without prescription, Do you ever get upset about something and wonder whether it's something you should be upset about, or something you should just get over? Do you listen to your gut that might be telling you not to trust, or listen to your head that holds evidence contrary to the gut's conclusion about the situation? How much of the problem is what someone did, and how much of the problem is your reaction to what happened...let's try to sort this out.

Why do we get upset about things? We get upset because people do nasty things. We also get upset when something triggers a certain emotion in us that we can't stand feeling. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to try to determine which category something falls into. More than likely, buying levitra jelly, Levitra jelly in us, though, it's a combination of the two, levitra jelly malaysia. Order levitra jelly no prescription,

What happened that upset me? If this happened to someone else and they were upset, what would I think of that? If the situation were reversed, levitra jelly for order, Levitra jelly bangkok, what would that be like?

What is my emotional response? Do I feel powerless, unimportant, levitra jelly pill, Levitra jelly side effects, helpless, worthless, levitra jelly pharmacy online, Order discount levitra jelly, unloved, rejected or abandoned?...these are some of the most common strong emotional responses.

Is the feeling I'm having something that comes up a lot for me? Have there been other times in my life when I have felt this feeling? If so, drug levitra jelly online purchase, Compare levitra jelly prices online, it might be your emotional kryptonite, and you may be feeling something disproportionately to what happened. It might be more your stuff.

Three Baskets... Try to put the incident into one of these three baskets. I start with the last basket.., pharmacy levitra jelly. Order levitra jelly on internet,

Basket 3 is for all those little things that you can accept about this person because they are a different person than you. You don't need them to be perfect, and there are things about them that you will accept and not speak about because you love them the way they are. Like her weird laugh, lowest price levitra jelly, Buy generic levitra jelly, or his smelly feet, or her strange relationship with her mother, levitra jelly, Buy levitra jelly on line, or his habit of leaving the toilet seat up. It's either not your business to interfere, or it doesn't affect you terribly, levitra jelly online sales, Levitra jelly vendors, and you decide to let it go. There should be lots of things in this category! Close the mouth and practice acceptance, compassion and choosing to love someone who's imperfect.

Basket 2 is for all the things that are big enough to want to dialogue about and problem solve. When someone does something that affects you in a way that you can't ignore. See this blog about conflict resolution for details about where to go with things you put in this category. Maybe someone's moods are affecting you, levitra jelly in australia, Levitra jelly online without a prescription, or they're being critical about someone you care about, or they're not responding to your emails...there are a wide variety of things in this basket that deserve dialogue.

Basket 1 is saved for those things that you absolutely need in a relationship. There's not so much need for discussion around these things. Deliver the message clearly. "I need to feel heard by you." "It's not okay with me that you have a private lunch with your secretary/co-worker/ex." "When you drive with the children I'm not okay with you being on the phone."...It's okay that there are things you know you need from someone. These are usually about respect, levitra jelly in bangkok, Cheap levitra jelly on internet, safety issues, or trust. If you put something in this basket, order discount levitra jelly online, Get levitra jelly, and it keeps happening over and over again, then that's information for you about this relationship, find levitra jelly, No rx levitra jelly, and it may be time to ask why you are in a destructive relationship.

Boundaries: Remember the basic rules about boundaries...you can't change somebody. You can only identify and ask for what you need and let them know how they affect you. This also means being brave enough to hear their concerns and imagine what their experience of you is.

Scaling the problem: If you know something is in basket 1, buy levitra jelly from india, Levitra jelly online cheap, but your reaction is strong, use self-talk, cheap levitra jelly internet, Cheap levitra jelly from usa, compassion and empathy to put this into perspective. Tell yourself about the things you want this person to accept about you, remind yourself it's a 1 on that scale between 1 and 10. Say "let it go"..."I can let this go"..."I choose to let this go". (See this blog on letting go). Maybe see a therapist to help you sort it all out, levitra jelly medicine. Levitra jelly alternative, Have a terrific day!. Buy discount levitra jelly online. Levitra jelly free delivery. Buy levitra jelly online. Purchase levitra jelly online. Drug levitra jelly. Levitra jelly pharmacy.

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