From the category archives:

I’ve been thinking…

Buy minocycline without prescription, When I was a teenager, I always wished I could play the guitar.  I am not very musically inclined, so I never would have been a virtuoso anyway, but I wanted to be able to make music anywhere; ideally around a campfire.  I did take piano lessons, but the piano didn't really fit my image of the kind of cool music I dreamed of playing, and it wasn't very portable.  So my undeveloped musical talents remained so for many years.

 

Then...one year ago, at the age of 49, I got my first ukulele; the perfect answer to my combined problems of little time to learn, limited natural talent and yet the burning desire to sing and play.  Lele (Lay-Lay) is her name, she is a Kala tenor uke, and she has given me confidence and taught me to trust in myself and my voice. 

 

I quickly joined SOUP, a local monday night jam group, and within a few days I could play half a dozen chords and tons of songs.  A uke only has 4 strings!  It was easy!  I was happy.  SOUP nights are like sunshine.  You never met a happier bunch of people!

 

Now I am a person slightly obsessed.  If I have a half hour break in my day, the dirty dishes sit and I am cuddled up with my uke playing away or scouring youtube for the next Jason Mraz, Colbie Caillat or Kina Grannis song to learn.  Rarely does a day go by without connecting with Lele.  She calms me and connects me to my rythymic and spiritual core.  I am feeling the courage just now to begin to break away from the structure of a song someone else has written and just...play...explore.  I think she wants to listen to me!  I think she believes there is a song inside me.   A few days ago I bought a second uke... Buster is a pre-owned (beautifully imperfect!) Solid Spruce top, minocycline cheap, Certified minocycline, Lanikai Flame Maple Tenor Ukulele and he is gorgeous!

 

There may be someone in your life who needs a ukulele.  A lost 14 yr old teenager, a bored baby boomer, find discount minocycline online, Generic minocycline, or a hopeless 80 yr old who feels useless.  Or maybe it's you.  A ukulele will touch your tender heart and help it find voice with sweet resonating power that will astound you. 

 

Happy playing.  I leave you with the song that made me want to play. 

 
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Buy lamictal without prescription, Are gender differences a rich blessing or a cruel joke?  Life certainly would be boring if there was only one gender, but did the almighty power have to make us so different that we drive each other nuts?   What do men and women need to understand about each other?  Warning:  sweeping generalizations with disregard to exceptions may be offensive to some...

Hunters vs Gatherers:  Women are gatherers...men are hunters.  If a woman is describing something to you, cheap lamictal internet, Cheap lamictal online, she might take the long way around with a lot of unecessary words.  She spends a lot of time trying to figure you out, looking under bushes for clues to what makes you tick, lamictal sales, Lamictal bangkok, so she figures you will do the same.  lol   So...she leaves hints about what she needs under bushes, thinking you will look there, lamictal cost, Drug lamictal, in the subtext, for what she needs.  Ladies, lamictal no rx required, Compare lamictal prices, for a man this sometimes feels like he's being pinned down, trapped in a haystack of words looking for a needle he couldn't care less about or doesn't trust even exists.   Impatient man's instinct is to locate the woolly mammoth and kill it, lamictal online pharmacy, Cheapest lamictal online, not hunt for berries.  So he tries to solve the problem by simply telling her what to do.  Isn't that what she wants?  When this is not received well, the message he gets is that he has no value.  His hunting skills are useless in her world of berries, cheap lamictal on internet. No prescription lamictal, The solution? 

Men...know that sometimes she just wants you to listen as she gathers.  I know, you've got mammoths to hunt, lamictal overnight shipping, Tablet lamictal, but your woman wants to dance in the bushes with you.  Just listening to her helps her feel valued.  Ask her questions that help clarify her desires... "Are you venting, lamictal in australia, Order lamictal without prescription, or do you want my advise on this"... or let her know how confused you are..."When you talk about X, canada lamictal, Lamictal no prescription, I get confused about whether you want help with that or not."

Women...try to be clear about what you need.  Getting to the point helps him to feel like his time and energy are valued.  Preface things with a statement like..."This thing at work is really bugging me and I just need to vent", or "Can I have your thoughts about what I should do here?"...   Use fewer words if you want to be listened to intently.   If you need something, lamictal uk, Buy lamictal pills, just say it plainly and respectfully...don't hide it in a mountain of verbage.  He is, after all, order lamictal from us, Buy no rx lamictal,  saving his energy for a big hunt and can't afford to waste it on a berry picking expedition.  

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"She left her phone/facebook open and there it was...like a punch in the stomach"   Buy inderal without prescription, "Why does he need to chat/text with his ex when he knows it hurts me so much?"

"I don't think anything is going on, but it still doesn't feel right."

"If the text was innocent, why was it deleted?"

"I had no idea my 13 yr old was sexting!"

Social media has created a new dilemma for relationships and families.  There are more chances for private conversations with people outside the relationship, and this can cause or worsen trust issues.   What are your rules when it comes to texting, chatting with or private messaging with people outside the relationship?  Every couple can make their own rules about this.  Here are some things to think about...


  1. Do you imagine your partner can see all of your conversations with others?  Would you be okay if your partner could see everything you write?  Does your partner have easy access to see who you are chatting with?   Do you leave your facebook/email open for them to see?  If not, sale inderal, Cheap inderal in usa, why not?


2.    Be aware of the dangers of private chatting.  The person you are chatting with may not want the same thing or have the same understanding of the relationship as you.  People cross boundaries more easily when they think a conversation is private.  Be aware that positive attention from others feels good and can make you want more.  If you find yourself messaging other people, do you ask yourself what the drive is?  The dangers for kids and teens are huge in that they are exposed to private conversations before they have developed and practised maintaining boundaries around their sexuality, inderal from canada. Buy inderal online australia, 3.   When trust has already been broken in a relationship, being completely open about  conversations with others is an important part of the healing and rebuilding process.  If your partner refuses to share passwords or let you see their conversations, buy inderal on line, Drug inderal online purchase, then there is a limit to how much trust you can rebuild. 

4.   Do you know your partner's sensitivities?  How much we are open or private is ultimately up to us, but we hopefully care how it affects our partner.   What allowances do you make for their sensitivities in order to build trust? 

6.  A lack of trust can also turn into controlling behaviours.  If your partner gets angry when someone else initiates a conversation with you (out of your control), order inderal, Inderal professional, or expects you to cut off any "friend" who they perceive as a threat, then maybe the question is why do they want a relationship in which there is no trust.., cheapest inderal prices. Buy discount inderal online, 7.  Children and teens should have age appropriate limitations.  There are reasons why facebook is recommended for 13 and over.  While teens need privacy, there is good reason to moniter your child's social conversations until you trust they can handle the dangers, inderal pills. Inderal rx, Ultimately, trust is an action...a choice...something we give out of a desire to grow closer without the erosion of constant fear.   The technological changes in our modern world mean that relationships will need to keep up and develop new ways to manage the added dangers of social media.  What are your thoughts, inderal free sample. Cheap inderal no rx. Overnight inderal. Cheap inderal in canada. Order discount inderal. Real inderal without prescription. Cheap inderal from usa. Inderal order. Inderal approved. Cheap inderal pharmacy. Find inderal without prescription. Cheap inderal tablet. Order generic inderal. Best price inderal. Cost of inderal. Inderal alternative. Low cost inderal. Inderal price. Buy cheapest inderal online. Find inderal. Cost inderal. Inderal buy drug. Buying inderal. Order inderal no rx. Inderal online sales. Generic inderal online. Online pharmacy inderal. Inderal for order.

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Addiction:  Doing something repeatedly that you know will result in negative consequences.   An obsession or complusion that interferes with your ability to function in some way.  Buy provera without prescription, Addiction is also a way of avoiding certain emotional states, like powerlessness, rejection or worthlessness.  And the face of addiction is shifting.   All of the below are normal activities that can be addictive if taken to the extreme.

Lynda's Top Ten List:  The Most Common Addictions in 2011.

1, order provera online. Cheap provera in usa, Food.  Fast and Fatty...an epidemic.  Our bodies crave the sugar and starch and quantities of food that seem to (but don't really) satisfy a deeper emotional soul-based hunger.  Read "Women, Food and God" for an excellent exploration of this issue and a therapeutic and revolutionary approach to eating, provera in bangkok. Provera from india, 2.  Screens and Batteries: Instant Entertainment.  It seems that every toy has batteries these days.   Parents are so insecure they are easily brainwashed into thinking that hammering coloured pegs into a board with holes isn't good enough.  It needs to have coloured lights and sounds.   There are screens for each person and in every room.   Are we rasing a generation of kids who need constant entertainment that takes no effort?  Is it a way of avoiding guilt.

3.  Social Media.  Are we raising a generation of young people who can't function unless all their friends know everything they're doing at every moment?  Do you spend more time facebooking and linking in and tweeting about your life than actually living?  Are we so scared of feeling alone?  Has it become more important to have 500 friends than to spend a few hours actually connecting with someone, cheap provera tablets. We avoid feeling rejected, buy provera without prescription. Compare provera prices, 4.  Substance.  The good old fashioned addictions: Alcohol, street drugs, order provera overnight delivery, Buy provera once daily, prescription drugs... Numbing or avoiding emotional pain by altering the brain chemistry.   Led by biological predispositions and triggered by life events.  Treatments are available for this stuff at least.  A sub-category: Prozac and Other Such Drugs.  Some folks really do benefit from using these medications to kick-start or maintain a healthy brain function.  But, buying provera online, Provera free sample, doctors are handing them out like candy.  Research shows that they can be effective, mostly if combined with talk therapy.  But research also shows that exercise works just as well, buy provera overnight delivery, Generic provera cheap, and so does cognitive-Behavioural Therapy because it turns out that how you think determines how you feel. And maybe feelings won't kill us.

5.  Anger or other emotions:  See my blog on anger addiction and how it serves to help us avoid.  Addiction to a victim state helps us avoid responsibility.  Addiction to sadness keeps us from having to move on in life.  Addiction to fear keeps us from having to take risks or get close.  Are you stuck in one emotional state as a way of avoiding others, provera no rx required. Provera purchase, 6.  Youth.  We are obsessed with youth.  There are children having botox treatments.  Products aimed at the aging population help convince us that aging is a disease that can be cured!  We set ourselves up for misery if we can't accept that our bodies will age.  While there is hope that the babyboomers can make aging a beautiful thing and give power and voice to...maturity (I hesitate to say old!), there is also the danger that we will be a generation of bitter people because we equate happiness with a superficial youthful appearance  rather than the free and joyful state of mind we really seek.  We avoid the fear of death, provera cost.

7.  Sex and Gender.  The same 8 year-old who is having botox is also receiving brazilian waxes from her mother (who wants to prevent Buy provera without prescription, pubic hair growth).  Our obsession with being sexy leads to sexualized children and preteens (my daughter coined the term 'prostitots'), and women of all ages believing that their power and value can be measured by how many people want them sexually.  Sex has become about power, and not the expression of affection and love.  Everything is genderized, women and men are polarized in a way that leaves little room for the acceptance of the soft and vulnerable/weak in men or the dominant or independant in women.  Some societies acknowledge up to five different genders.  We slot people into two.  No room for grey. Buy provera online cheap, We avoid powerlessness and the helplessness of uncertainty.

8.  The Alteration of our Appearance in the Pursuit of "Beauty".  I meet so many beautiful young women who must spend at least two hours every day covering their natural beauty with layers of mascara and make-up.  We have forgotten what a woman without make-up looks like.  We laugh at pics of celebs we "catch" without make-up.  But beyond that...young women are obsessed with using surgery to alter their faces and bodies.  And this generation is passing the addiction onto our children...letting our kids think that looking "right" will keep them safe from bullying or make them happy.  We avoid feeling worthless.

9.  Reality TV.  Within the addiction of television, provera for sale, Buy provera no rx, we are addicted to wanting to peek into the weirdest things we can find.  We spend time watching other people scream and curse at each other, fill their homes with garbage, buy cheapest provera online, Provera online without a prescription,  stab each other in the back, have their heart broken and be humiliated (Tool Academy?).  People, order provera from us, Provera uk, the screens are filled with this stuff only because it's cheap for them to produce and because there is no end to the list of people who would sell their soul and drop their dignity and drawers for money and 15 minutes of fame.  We avoid our own lives.

10. Gambling (with our money or our hearts) Addiction to financial or emotional self-destruction Gambling is a yearning to feel special.  So is staying in a relationship when there is pain.  There's a chance that the bells will ring and you will get a prize.  There is a chance that this person will love you enough to treat you well.  Even a slight chance gets us hooked into pouring our money or hearts into something that's not likely to pay off.  We avoid worthlessness, low price provera. Buy provera on internet, What are you really hungry for?  What feeling do you avoid with addiction. Provera bangkok. Purchase provera. Provera pharmacy. Real provera without prescription. Buying generic provera. Buy provera canada. Provera information. Find provera no prescription required. Provera online review. Provera overnight. Order no rx provera. No rx provera.

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"Why do I keep doing that even when I know it's self-destructive?"

"Why do I keep picking partners who are controlling/unavailable/abusive?"

"Why won't they treat me better?"

"Why won't anything go my way?"

"Why can't I stop eating junk?"

"Why?" questions are popular. Buy phenergan without prescription,   From the age of three we pester people for the "why's"...we have the need to understand our world, partly because to understand it helps us feel less chaotic and helpless.  If you can understand something...if you have insight into it... you can change it, buy cheap phenergan internet, Phenergan internet, right.

Yes and no.  Insight can lead to change.  Except that so often, overnight phenergan, Buy phenergan generic, we have the insight we need and we still make the same dumb, habitual decisions over and over again.  Or, buy phenergan on line, Phenergan canada, we struggle to understand something that we can't find the answer to and this tortures us.  Then what do you do.

So let's deconstruct the "why?".  If you are struggling with a "why?" question, buy phenergan, Discount phenergan online, consider these thoughts:


  • Nike had it right.  Sometimes the answer to behavioural change is...behavioural change.  We can slice change thinly into small steps...rewarding ourselves for gains made... acting "as if" something is true...not buying the junk in the first place so that temptation isn't there.., phenergan cheap price. Buy phenergan no prescription required, exercising with a friend so it's harder to back out...setting up our environment to maximize the chances for success.. these things can result in small changes that provide momentum in a forward direction.  The behaviouralists didn't do all that research for nothing.  If you "just do it" once, buy phenergan from us, Order phenergan in us, then you know you can do it again.

  • Maybe the "why?" question you are asking is not the best question to ask.  Asking why another person does something is like banging your head against a wall.  They do it because of who they are.  They do it to protect their soft spots, to get their needs met...but it has nothing to do with you.  You don't have the power to cause their behaviours.  We influence each other, cheap price phenergan, Buy no rx phenergan, yes, but please stop at taking responsibility for someone else's stuff.  It's interesting that "Why do they keep hurting me?" is a more popular question than "Why am I with someone who keeps hurting me?" 

  • One of the most effective ways to force yourself into change is to tell people you are doing it.  I have been struggling with whether to stage a play of mine and all those related insecurities.  Recently I told a few people I was doing it (although I may have said 'probably'...).  So now I am more likely to do it.  Voice your goals.  Write them down, purchase phenergan online, Phenergan cheap drug, say them outloud, share them, phenergan vendors, Phenergan cheapest price, and ask people to hold you accountable.

  • Sometimes insight can be very important, depending on how you process things.  I am an analytical thinker, phenergan sale, Buy cheapest phenergan, and if you are too, then the process of deconstruction and analysis of a problem can be vital and fabulous fun as we dialogue or ruminate about it endlessly.  But.., cheapest generic phenergan online. Phenergan pills, if it doesn't result in positive change, or if it results in constant worry, phenergan no rx, Best price phenergan, how useful is it?  Notice if your struggle for insight becomes stale or stuck. 

  • You're not the only one in the equation.  You need insight, but does your partner?  I venture to suggest this may be a gender-related issue.  Women may tend to gather information and assemble it in a complex recipe rather than 'just do it'.  They want to examine a problem to death rather than 'just fix it'.  Example:  Joe comes home and his wife Terry is talking about a problem she had with a co-worker.  He feels helpless and frustrated, order discount phenergan online, Best price for phenergan, and thinks she needs a solution.  She just wants to talk about it, because that helps her feel less alone and it helps her 'work through it'.  He can't understand why she gets upset when he cuts off what sounds like useless whining to him and suggests that she simply ignore the co-worker.  Sound familiar?  Knowing yourself is great, price of phenergan, Phenergan sales, but knowing your partner and how your preferences interact is also important.

  • Are you focusing too much on the negative?  Too much straining to ask "why?" can result in whining (think of the three year old) or depression.  It can lead to a helpless or hopeless place where all we see is the big boulder on the road in front of us, and not the fork that leads to a clear path.   Emotions are determined by thoughts, compare phenergan prices online, Phenergan order, and changing your thoughts is a key to change (see a series of blogs on self-talk, 1, phenergan online, Discount phenergan, 2, 3).

  • If you are in therapy or looking for a therapist, order phenergan in canada, Order discount phenergan, ask them how they will help you accomplish change.  There's more than one way, and they will hopefully work with you in whatever way both fits and stretches your own processes.


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