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What is our deepest desire? It is to be loved. To feel lovable and to be loved.

The only way to find love, is to allow ourselves to be known...to get close. We will need to connect with someone...to achieve intimacy; a state or process of deep connection. That is how we find love.

Even self love...cannot happen unless we truly connect with and know ourselves intimately, buy generic norvasc. Buy cheapest norvasc online, Intimacy is difficult because there are big risks. If we let someone get close, we risk rejection, certified norvasc, Norvasc online without a prescription, indifference...we risk not feeling loved. For some that's too big a risk to take. Trauma, old hurts and resentments, norvasc online sales, Cheapest norvasc, the busyness of life, daily distractions, get norvasc, Norvasc online, fear of being hurt...all these things stop us from reaching intimacy in a relationship. If something is getting in the way of you connecting with someone... I suggest talking to a qualified therapist.

The rewards for achieving intimacy are so substantial. It's a cliff worth diving off. For those of you who are ready for intimacy and want to know how to create it in your relationship...here is a place to start:

Identify how you and your partner like to connect. Intellectually, norvasc side effects, Where to order norvasc, emotionally, physically? When do you feel connected to them? What is your preferred form or language of connection? Are your styles the same, order norvasc from us, Buy cheap norvasc, or different? Who shuts down...pulls away...reaches out.

Make a point of reaching out in your partner's preferred form of intimacy. It is just as legitimate as yours!

Every morning, both of you ask for one thing that you need in order to feel connected. "Please bring me a coffee when you come home" "Please shovel the drive before work" "Please touch my hair"

Let each other know how you affect each other, norvasc in uk, Order discount norvasc online, positively and negatively. It's so easy to stay silent, or to demand or nag. To say "When you do that for me, norvasc discount, Purchase norvasc overnight delivery, I feel so loved", or "When you forget to.., norvasc medicine. Cheap norvasc, I feel like I'm not important to you" we are letting them in to our inner sanctum. We are saying "I want you to know me". You are strengthening the fibers that connect you when you identify how you affect each other. Please note that you are not responsible for their emotions.

Every evening, share something positive from your day. Something you feel thankful for, buy norvasc from canada, Order norvasc overnight delivery, or an amazing moment you had.

Touch each other non-sexually. Touch has become so connected to intercourse in an unfortunate way. When did you last massage their hands or feet...run your fingers through their hair...taking two seconds for a hug creates intimacy. (Here's a fun game. Person A leaves the room and Person B puts a tiny dab of perfume somewhere on their body. Person A has to sniff until they find it.)

Take a bath or shower together.

Have a competitive snow fight or card game. Make fun of your 'need to win'.

Take two minutes and do nothing but look into each other's eyes. Start at a few feet away and slowly get closer. How close can you get?

Look at old pictures or videos. Remember what you used to do that built your connection.

Another game...put flavours on your skin, and have your partner lick it and determine the flavour. Let your imagination run with that one...

Name your emotions...your fears...your dreams...big ones and little ones. Be curious about each other and ask the questions that you've stopped asking because you thought you knew it all. You don't.

Another game...make a facial expression and your partner has to guess what emotion might be attached to it.

Have fun! Stay close! Get love, discount norvasc online. Buy norvasc us,

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{ 1 trackback }

Is it better to give than to receive: Intimacy « 3chicksleadership: January 17, 2012 at 4:32 pm

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Cyn January 4, 2012 at 3:23 pm: Awesome post!!! I’m sharing this!
2 Heidi January 4, 2012 at 9:03 pm: Intimacy… “It’s a cliff worth diving off. ” That’s exactly what it feels like sometimes. The courage it takes to share your needs and vulnerabilities is much like preparing to dive off a cliff. But just as you point out, the rewards are “so substantial.” Next stop…intimacy with consistency…and without the fear

Thanks for always posting valuable, poignant topics. Happy New Year, Lynda!
3 Heidi January 4, 2012 at 9:33 pm: Oh yah…it took me a minute to get past looking at the frogs. Hilarious!
4 Robin Rundle Drake January 17, 2012 at 1:37 pm: Great post Lynda. I like what you are saying about getting close – and in very practical (and fun) ways.
I think of intimacy in my life as a 100% leaning in to the connection – and when losing connection, noticing and finding the way back in. That demands a great deal of staying power (staying in the mess of emotion etc. by being patient and still, and by not holding back or giving up). Sometimes that means demanding to be met for the sake of the connection – and both of us being willing to both give and receive (not always easy for me admittedly).
I experience intimacy in this way: “in-to-me-see” and all of the things you talked about point that way. Creating safety first, sharing the space together and then moving into the dance of intimacy.
I mean, intimacy really is like looking into the mirror don’t you think? I see myself reflected in my partner (the good, the bad and the ugly) and focus my efforts on giving and receiving love, truth, joy – the range of positive life forces and keeping the poisons out that impact our little system. And the way that works the best for us for poison control is to clear assumptions with each other, stalk the truth (e.g. about the root of a ‘trigger ‘), and remember that we are committed to UPR (unconditional positive regard).
Don’t get me wrong, there are times of raw vulnerability – and because I trust my partner’s intentions – I can stay in that messy scary place – and experience the full range of who I am as my partner is seeing-into-me.
I see more on trust in your next post.
xo

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